Saturday, February 11, 2012

Forever Valentine

Since this is our first Valentine’s Day post, we thought we’d deviate a little and tell you about how we got together. You can think of it as how Lynn Evans came to be.

We were friends before we were lovers and, when it gets right down to it, that’s the reason we’ve stayed together this long. For those of you who’ve taken us up on our offer and downloaded The Valentine’s Game for free (and for those wonderful friends who have bought a copy), you can find a succinct explanation of our view of romantic relationships in Chapter 3. It’s the part where Charli’s guiding angel, Crescent, explains like, love, and lust. This is not only our opinion; it pretty much explains our history together. (If you haven’t yet downloaded your free copy of The Valentine’s Game yet,click here!)

Next month, we will celebrate the 35th anniversary of our first date. Before that, we’d met at church. It sounds a lot more Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher than it was, since this was the middle of the 70’s and the institution was a thoroughly Californian New Age spiritual enclave. Still, our attraction was mutual, sweet, and full of the promise that can only come from two unattached twenty-one-year-olds who still believed that there was magic in the world. We had a picnic at Presidio Park. Lynn made the food and even she will admit that the only thing edible was the chocolate chip cookies. It didn’t matter. We shared our first kiss on grass warmed by a San Diego spring sun and the next morning woke up in Lynn’s bed that was too narrow for two lying side-by-side. If that last tidbit shocks some of our younger readers, we’re sorry, but not too much. Our older readers will understand when we collectively shrug our shoulders and point out that it was the 70’s after all. 

If it wasn’t true love at first, it most certainly was true like and true lust. It wasn’t long before we were living together (the 70’s, remember) and spending most of our free time in each other’s company. Lynn introduced Evans to her multitude of friends and he, without any warning, dropped her into the middle of his crazy relations. We lived on spaghetti, fish-n-chips, quesadillas, and margaritas, while finishing our degrees at San Diego State. We were married a year and two months after we’d gone out the first time. True to our mutual belief in equality, we each retired our “maiden names” and formed a hyphenated existence.

There were four miscarriages and a failed adoption attempt before our first child, Laura, was born. As awful as those times were, it forged us together. So all through the child rearing years when there was never enough time or money, there was also never a doubt about our partnership. If it was less romantic than the backyard bungalow we lived in when we first got together, it was more mutually supportive. This was the time when we allowed each other the chance to discover what we wanted to do with the lives that were spent outside the clamorous walls of our modest Ramona home. 
When the children moved out, we rediscovered our passion for each other. To be fair, we really didn’t wait for Sarah to leave, we just bought her a car so she could escape when we started dating again. And here is a secret that none of the teenagers Lynn councils can believe: love, both physical and emotional, is splendid at our age. While we don’t have the energy (nor the gymnastic abilities) we once did, we now have a wealth of knowledge and experience about each other you can only get by living with someone a long time. And while there is a lot to be said for enthusiasm, we’re happy to expound the virtues of skill that comes with years of practice.

That’s our love history in a nutshell. Nothing special from the outside, but, from where we sit, it’s warm and glorious. Since we know we’ve been blessed, our first ever Lynn Evans Valentine’s Day wish to all of our loyal followers is for you to find someone with whom to practice years of like, love, and lust. Trust us; it beats the hell out of those little candy hearts.

A final personal note – Happy birthday, Sarah. You’ve always been quick at everything which is why you couldn’t wait to be born on Valentine’s Day, but instead came into the world sharing the birthday of our 16th President. We love you, Bear Child.

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